The Gifting Desk
What to buy your girlfriend
A tiered list, from twenty-three dollars to a Kelly. Plus the four categories to never buy her, whatever the budget.
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Everything below comes from our sister site, loryn.com, which sells pre-owned luxury — which matters here for a practical reason. Pre-owned is how you buy her something two tiers above your actual budget, and it is the single most useful piece of gifting information in this column.
A pre-owned Chanel flap at four thousand is a different gift from a new bag at four thousand, and she will know which one she is holding.
01
Before the list: the four things to never buy her.
Anything that implies self-improvement. Gym equipment, skincare aimed at a problem, a cookbook, a scale. There is no way to give these that reads as generous, however sincerely meant.
Anything in her size that you guessed. Clothing and rings are the two categories where being wrong is not neutral — it is a message about how closely you have been looking.
Anything for the house that is really for you. A television is not a gift. Neither is a games console with a bow on it.
Anything that requires her to do work. A voucher for an experience she now has to book, research and schedule is a chore in a nice envelope.
“The test is simple: would she have chosen it, and does it prove you were listening? Everything else is decoration.”
Now the list. It runs by budget, and the honest advice is to buy at the top of whatever tier you are in rather than the bottom of the one above it. A very good thing at nine hundred beats a compromised thing at two thousand every time.
It starts under two hundred dollars, because that is where most gifts actually get bought. The rule matters more at that end, not less: one good necklace beats a necklace, a candle and a mug every time.
Under $200
Twelve things worth buying at this budget, from Amazon rather than from our pre-owned inventory. Jewellery first because it is the hardest category to get wrong, fragrance last because it is the easiest — buy scent only if you have noticed what she already wears.
Kendra · Gifts for Her
Kendra Scott Elisa Pendant Necklace
The necklace she has probably already seen on three friends and quietly wanted.
Under $100
Shop Now →
kate · Gifts for Her
kate spade new york Gold Initial Pendant
An initial pendant from a real house rather than an etched disc from a marketplace seller.
Under $100
Shop the Look →
CDE · Gifts for Her
CDE 18K Rose Gold Heart Pendant Necklace
Fifty dollars, arrives in a gift box, and does not look like fifty dollars.
Under $100
Shop the Pick →
Homde · Gifts for Her
Homde Five-Layer Jewellery Box Organiser
The highest-rated thing on this page, and it solves a problem she actually has.
Under $100
Shop the Pick →
Oxfords · Gifts for Her
Oxfords Cashmere 100% Lambswool Tartan Scarf
Real lambswool at thirty dollars, which is the best value on this entire page.
Under $100
Buy This for Him →
J · Gifts for Her
J JIMOO 22 Momme Mulberry Silk Pillowcase
Twenty-three dollars for the thing every hairdresser tells her to buy.
Under $100
Buy This for Him →
Slip · Gifts for Her
Slip Pure Silk Queen Pillowcase
The name she has actually heard of, and the box is half of why you are buying it.
$100–$250
Shop Now →
LUXE · Gifts for Her
Luxe England Nine-Piece Spa Gift Box
A curated box rather than a basket of miscellaneous sachets.
Under $100
Shop the Pick →
Lancôme · Gifts for Her
Lancôme La Vie Est Belle Eau de Parfum
The most-bought designer fragrance on this list, and the least likely to be wrong.
Under $100
Shop the Pick →
Valentino · Gifts for Her
Valentino Donna Born In Roma Eau de Parfum
The best-rated fragrance here, and the most current — this is what younger women are actually wearing.
$100–$250
Get It Here →
Gucci · Gifts for Her
Gucci Bloom Eau de Parfum
White florals, no sweetness — the opposite end of the scale from the gourmands.
Under $100
See Price →
Mugler · Gifts for Her
Mugler Angel Eau de Parfum Refillable Star
The top of the under-two-hundred budget, and the only refillable bottle here.
$100–$250
Get It Here →
Under $1,000
This is a real budget, not a starter one. Fine jewellery from proper houses begins here, and a piece she can wear daily at this price will out-earn almost anything else in the column.
Oscar de la Renta · Jewelry
Crystal Pavé Bow Cuff Bracelet
Oscar de la Renta costume jewellery — the Crystal Pavé Bow Cuff Bracelet.
New
Price at Amazon
See It at Amazon →
Oscar de la Renta · Jewelry
Navette Crystal Necklace
Oscar de la Renta costume jewellery — the Navette Crystal Necklace.
New
Price at Amazon
See It at Amazon →
Mateo New York · Jewelry
Carved Lapis Venus Shell Drop Earrings
Mateo's modern-heirloom stone work in 14kt gold.
New
Price at Amazon
See It at Amazon →
Mateo New York · Jewelry
Carved Shell Drop Earrings
Mateo New York — carved shell drop earrings in 14kt gold.
New
Price at Amazon
See It at Amazon →
Linda Farrow · Accessories
Cesar
Linda Farrow's Cesar — London-made frames.
New
Price at Amazon
See It at Amazon →
Linda Farrow · Accessories
Luis
Linda Farrow's Luis — London-made frames.
New
Price at Amazon
See It at Amazon →
Dior · Accessories
Oblique Cashmere & Silk Scarf
Beige and navy Oblique in a cashmere-silk blend.
Good
$900
See It at The Luxury Closet →
Annoushka · Jewelry
Mini Cable Chain, Large Bracelet 22cms
Annoushka's mini cable chain — the charm carrier.
New
Price at Amazon
See It at Amazon →
Pre-owned pieces from our sister site loryn.com. Single units — they sell.
$1,000 to $5,000
Where the recognisable names start. A Chanel flap, a Dior earring, a Cartier piece — bought pre-owned, this tier buys things that hold value and get worn for decades.
Dior · Jewelry
Rose Couture Diamond Earrings
Small rose gold roses with diamond centres — Dior's Rose Couture line.
Excellent
$4,900
See It at The Luxury Closet →
Chanel · Handbags
Mini CC Quilted Caviar Messenger Flap, Pink
Pink caviar on a mini messenger flap — the CC turnlock, scaled down.
Good
$4,900
See It at The Luxury Closet →
Chanel · Handbags
Classic Jumbo Single Flap, Black
Black quilted lambskin at Jumbo scale — the single flap, roomier than it photographs.
Good
$4,800
See It at The Luxury Closet →
Annoushka · Jewelry
Daisy Earring Drops, 18ct Yellow Gold, Diamonds
Annoushka's gemstone drops in 18ct yellow gold.
New
Price at Amazon
See It at Amazon →
Annoushka · Jewelry
Knuckle Double Hoop Earrings, 14ct White Gold
From Annoushka's Knuckle chains — links built to stack.
New
Price at Amazon
See It at Amazon →
Leviev · Jewelry
Flower Petal Ring, Diamonds, 18K White Gold
Leviev's Flower Petal Ring — diamonds.
New
Price at Amazon
See It at Amazon →
Leviev · Jewelry
Flower Petal Ring, Diamonds, 18K Yellow Gold
Diamonds in 18k yellow gold.
New
Price at Amazon
See It at Amazon →
Chopard · Jewelry
Happy Diamonds Heart Studs, White Gold
Chopard's Happy Diamonds hearts — one diamond loose behind glass, per ear.
Good
$4,800
See It at The Luxury Closet →
Pre-owned pieces from our sister site loryn.com. Single units — they sell.
$5,000 to $15,000
Milestone territory. Big anniversaries, a fortieth, the year something significant happened. Buy for permanence rather than for the reaction on the night.
Leviev · Jewelry
Natural Diamonds Bangle, White, 18K White Gold, Womens Luxury
A bangle of natural diamonds in 18K white gold.
New
Price at Amazon
See It at Amazon →
Tiffany & Co. · Jewelry
Sixteen Stone Diamond Ring, Platinum & Gold
Schlumberger's sixteen stones — gold X's alternating with diamonds on platinum.
Good
$14,400
See It at The Luxury Closet →
Loro Piana · Handbags
Extra Pocket L19, Lizard
Loro Piana's Extra Pocket in pale lizard — the quietest bag with the loudest skin.
Good
$14,300
See It at The Luxury Closet →
Hermès · Handbags
Constance 18 Bleu Izmir Epsom
Bleu Izmir Epsom with the H clasp in palladium.
Excellent
$14,300
See It at The Luxury Closet →
Hermès · Jewelry
Kelly Diamond Ring, White Gold
The Kelly lock miniaturized into a ring — white gold, diamond-set.
Excellent
$14,200
See It at The Luxury Closet →
Leviev · Jewelry
Sea of Light 20.02 Carat Emerald Cut Halo Ring in Platinum |
A 20-carat aquamarine ring framed in diamonds.
New
Price at Amazon
See It at Amazon →
Annoushka · Jewelry
Mythology Eye Spy Charm Pendant, 18ct Yellow Gold, Sapphire
One of Annoushka's collected charms — clip it to a chain and build the story.
New
Price at Amazon
See It at Amazon →
Annoushka · Jewelry
Whoopsie Daisy Necklace, 18ct Gold
Daisies scattered down an 18ct chain.
New
Price at Amazon
See It at Amazon →
Pre-owned pieces from our sister site loryn.com. Single units — they sell.
Over $15,000
Kelly bags, Himalaya crocodile, tennis bracelets measured in carats. If you are shopping here you do not need our advice, but you may need our inventory.
Hermès · Handbags
Kellydoll Vert Maquis Matte Alligator
The Kelly Doll — Hermès' cartoon reworking of the Kelly, with arms, legs and a stitched smile. Made in tiny numbers.
Good
$353,000
See It at The Luxury Closet →
Hermès · Handbags
Birkin 30 Himalaya Niloticus Crocodile Diamond
The Himalaya — Hermès' graduated white niloticus crocodile, the rarest Birkin finish there is, here with a diamond-set clasp.
Pristine
$322,000
See It at The Luxury Closet →
Van Cleef & Arpels · Jewelry
Flowerlace 18K White Gold Diamond Necklace
Van Cleef & Arpels, where the setting is engineered to hide every prong.
Pristine
$241,000
See It at The Luxury Closet →
Leviev · Jewelry
Crowned Cele 25.73 Carat Diamond Tennis Bracelet in 18K White
25.73 carats of diamonds in a white gold tennis bracelet.
New
Price at Amazon
See It at Amazon →
Leviev · Jewelry
Lilin Heart Diamond Pendant, 5.94 ct
A 5.94-carat heart on platinum — the vault piece of The Edit.
New
Price at Amazon
See It at Amazon →
Bvlgari · Jewelry
Divas' Dream 18k White Gold Diamond Pendant Necklace
Bvlgari's Divas' Dream, drawn from the fan-shaped mosaics of the Baths of Caracalla.
Excellent
$161,000
See It at The Luxury Closet →
Louis Vuitton · Handbags
Silver Monogram Aluminium Malle Courrier 110 Trunk
A Louis Vuitton trunk, built the way the house built luggage for transatlantic liners.
Pristine
$88,900
See It at The Luxury Closet →
Louis Vuitton · Jewelry
White-gold logo drop earrings with complex-cut diamonds
Louis Vuitton fine jewellery — stones set the way only a house at this level sets them.
Good
$65,100
See It at The Luxury Closet →
Pre-owned pieces from our sister site loryn.com. Single units — they sell.
02
How to buy jewellery without knowing her size.
Earrings, necklaces and bracelets carry no sizing risk, which is why they are the correct gift categories for anyone who is not proposing. Rings are the exception and should be avoided entirely unless you have measured a ring she already wears, on the correct finger, when she was not looking.
Bangles are the trap in the middle. They do have a size, most people do not realise it, and a bangle that does not go over the hand is a very specific kind of disappointing.
03
Metal is a preference, not a detail.
Look at what she already wears. Almost every woman is consistently gold or consistently silver, has been for years, and will not wear the other one however beautiful it is.
This takes four seconds to check and is the most common way an expensive gift ends up in a drawer.
One last thing, and it is the reason this column sits next to a men's shopping site rather than a jeweller's. The gift is a delivery mechanism for attention, and attention is cheaper and more effective delivered weekly than annually.
So buy the bracelet. Then also buy the flowers, every Friday, for the rest of the year.
Frequently asked
What should I buy my girlfriend for a big anniversary?
Jewellery she can wear daily, in the metal she already wears, bought at the top of your budget rather than the bottom of the next one up. Earrings and bracelets carry no sizing risk; rings do, and should be left alone unless you are proposing.
Is buying pre-owned luxury a bad look as a gift?
The opposite. Pre-owned is how you buy two tiers above your budget, and at this level it is the normal way these pieces change hands — a pre-owned Chanel flap is a better gift than a new bag at the same price, and she will know it.
What should I never buy my girlfriend?
Anything implying self-improvement, anything in a size you guessed, anything for the house that is really for you, and anything that leaves her with admin. Those four cover almost every gift that has ever landed badly.
How do I know if she wears gold or silver?
Look at what is on her right now and what is in the dish by her sink. Almost everyone is consistently one or the other and will not wear the other one, however good it is.